Making Peace with the Middle: Why I’m Romanticizing the "Work in Progress"

I spent my 20s doing exactly what I was supposed to do. I left home for college, lived away for a decade, and honestly, life was good. It wasn't a disaster, and I wasn't struggling. However, I realize now that I wasn’t being as intentional as I could have been, especially when it came to managing my finances.

In 2021, I made the decision to move back in with my mom after she purchased her new home. This wasn’t a hasty retreat; it was a conscious choice to transition from merely coasting through life to actively building something meaningful. Two years ago, I finally decided to take my finances seriously, and last year, I embarked on the slow but rewarding journey of remodeling my room to make it truly feel like my own sanctuary.

The thing about The Oasis pillar of my Radiant 90 journey is that it isn't a finished project. My room is very much a work in progress. My bathroom still needs to be finished, and there are a dozen minor things in the bedroom that I haven't crossed off the list yet.

But I’m learning that the middle is where life actually happens.

The Beauty of the "Not Yet"

It’s all too easy to feel stuck in limbo where you're in your 30s living at home amid a sea of unfinished projects. I used to believe that I couldn’t embody my "radiance" until every corner was polished, and my savings account hit a magical number

But making peace with the middle means realizing that I don't have to wait for the reveal to enjoy the space I inhabit.

The 10-minute daily reset and making my bed every morning has changed how I see the mess. Even if there’s a project in the corner or the bathroom is a "no-go" zone right now, the bed is made and the surfaces are clear. I am respecting the space I do have, while I work toward the space I want.

The Good Years vs. The Intentional Years

Looking back at my 20s, I don’t see them as a series of mistakes. They were vibrant and filled with experiences. Yet, there’s a profound sense of satisfaction that comes with my 30s - a quiet power in knowing exactly where my money is flowing. I take pride in being the one putting in the hard work to transform this room, even if it’s taking more time than I initially hoped..

Living with my mom has given me the margin to fix the financial decisions of my younger self. It’s a trade-off: I don’t have my own front door yet, but I have a level of peace I never had when I was independent but irresponsible.

To the Other "Work in Progress" Humans

If you find yourself in your 30s, feeling like your life resembles a half-finished room, know that you are not alone. We’ve been conditioned to think that by this age, everything should be neatly painted, polished, and fully paid for.

Yet, there’s a unique beauty in the dust and disorder. It signifies that work is in progress. It means you’re evolving. It means you’re laying down roots and building a solid foundation instead of merely renting a temporary vibe.

My Oasis isn't perfect yet. The bathroom is still a project for another day. But the bed is made, the floors are clear, and I’m finally at peace with being right here, in the middle of it all.

Reconnecting with the Coil: Why I’m Taking the "Lazy" Out of My Hair Care

I’ve been natural since 2018. Back then, the transition was a thrill. Even though it was a steep learning curve, I loved every second of the process. I loved watching my Type 4 hair grow, seeing how the textures changed, and figuring out what my curls actually needed.

But a funny thing happens when you finally get the length and thickness you were dreaming of. You start to underappreciate it.

I realized I was just expecting my hair to stay healthy without actually putting in the work. Last year, I spent almost the entire year in protective styles. I told myself I was "protecting" my hair or "optimizing growth," but if I’m being honest, I was just being lazy. A protective style stops being protective the moment you stop caring for the hair underneath it. I was hiding my curls because I didn't want to deal with the time they required.

This year, I realized I actually missed my hair. I missed the texture, the ritual, and the feeling of my own curls. And that's why I’m recommitting to giving my curls the love and attention they deserve.

The Ego of Starting Over: Why I’m Back at Square One

If you looked at my race medals from the last two years, you’d see a successful running journey. I kicked off 2023 with my very first 5K, and by 2024, I had confidently progressed to a half marathon. Last December, I reached a significant milestone by crossing the finish line of a full marathon. On the surface, it looked like I was hitting all the benchmarks a runner is expected to achieve.

But here’s the thing: there’s a difference between merely finishing a race and truly training for one.

Why I’m Choosing Radiance: My 90-Day Journey to Connection and Strength

January is often seen as the month for dreaming. It’s that quiet time where we recover from the holiday whirlwind, jot down half-hearted resolutions in shiny new notebooks, and envision an ideal version of ourselves that feels just beyond our grasp. But if January is for dreaming, February is for doing.

This week, I am drawing a line in the sand. I am embarking on a personal 90-day challenge I’m calling The Radiant 90.

For too long, I’ve felt a subtle but persistent void in my life—a gap where community and true connection should be. It’s easy to fill that void with distractions: endless scrolling, busywork, or just the noise of daily life. But ignoring it hasn't made it go away. This challenge isn't just another fitness reboot or a hair growth journey, though those are parts of it. At its core, this is about mending that gap. It is about showing up for myself, and by extension, showing up for others, in a way I never have before.

I am choosing "Radiance" because radiance isn’t surface-level. It’s energy. It’s the heat you generate when your internal world is aligned with your external actions. Over the next three months, I am committing to building that heat, day by day, habit by habit.